I don’t care about sex. By itself it’s just fleeting pleasure. Every time I have sex now I end up just wanting to cuddle and do pillow talk because what I’m really after is intimacy. I want to feel close to someone, share my innermost thoughts with them, have them care about me. Boning like wild animals is just an added bonus, it’s not the main focus. Never has it been more clear in my life that I need a girlfriend over a mere fuckbuddy.
Another mindfuck is that the more women I hook up with, the more I realize that pick-up advice is phenomenally full of shit. These really hot women I’ve been with tell me that I’m cute and come across as innocent, adorable even. This is exactly the opposite of how men want to come across: They want to appear as dominant alpha male badasses. And yet my being innocent and adorable is predominantly the reason they give for liking me. And I can tell that these ladies get more out of mushy, romantic pillow talk and moments of bonding than marathon sport fucking.